So here's a paradox:

I had a great night with Chazz and Kyle by da' pool, I'm also so very excited for Electric Daisy Carnival with JoJo [among others], and I'm going to use this opportunity to say this will be my final blog post. I'm handing my password over to a friend.

This site was created as a way to soothe my pains. Last year I went through one of the roughest periods in my life when the health of two family members deteriorated and I quickly learned that the people I associated with did not care a damn about anyone but themselves. More parodies than people... always full of ridicule. The words of endearment were false bells in my ears. At points I became like them. Oh god. I was a blind man, and rebirth does not come easily, especially when scorched by fire.

Unfortunately this site continues to bring back memories of that time from June to October when I was swindled of finances, friendship, and fraternity by 3 people in particular, and it's like poison welled up in my chest. I was contacted a week ago by one of the people aforementioned, and it produced a lump in my throat, but I blocked her without a word. Curious, I then, for the first time in two full seasons, read the blog of her friend. It angered me. It made me want to lash out. It still does. My pain was being treated like a joke. I then heard of what an ex-friend turned manipulative druggie did [the financial swindler] and I wanted to scream. The three of them have not changed, and it saddens me.

So that is why I MUST conclude this blog. That life of poison is not for me to live. I have two best friends -- JoJo and Chazz -- who I can honestly say I love. I've never been able to say that about just friends before. Do you know what it's like to feel loved by a friend? Truly loved, with no second considerations, no ill emotions, no walls of faith, no barriers left uncrossed? I do.

I also came to fall in love with music and the scene which surrounds it. I dance! I would not have imagined it in a million years, but I go out at least three times a month and dance and laugh! God, I love my life. I've endured. I've met beautiful friends and dated wonderful women, and most importantly my family is healthy. I want to march forward. I want to write. I want to teach. I want to love.

And dance.