Next year I really, really want to go to Bonnaroo, though. My friend John saved up for it. He told me about it last semester in class, but now I'm jealous.

Iron & Wine
Explosions in the Sky
Mumford and Suns
Florence & The Machine
Bassnectar
Civil Twilight
Beirut
Eminem
etc, etc

EARGASM

Also, why the hell is everyone my age getting married/having kids/getting engaged?

I have the urge to take a Women's Study class and read a Charles Bukowski book in the middle of it.

God I love Above and Beyond.



Wish they would come to Electric Daisy Dallas, but oh well.

Memorial Day

Thank you to all who serve for the right reasons. To the rest, fuck off.

I'm annoyed by pretentious music fans who only enjoy either "high-brow" or "party" music. Each has its place. I don't want to dance to Pink Floyd. That's Lady Gaga's job. Yet I don't find myself feeling emotionally moved by Ke$ha. Godspeed You! Black Emperor fulfills that requirement.

Contemplating whether I should go to the Darkside field "rave" later. Emphasis on "rave" since technically any party that is registered with the city and subject to charter laws is not a "rave," but why be analytical?



I think it's amusing how my slow decline into misanthropy is always attributed to one person or another, heh. Bunch of egotists.

By the way:
http://literallyunbelievable.tumblr.com/
http://www.thelocal.de/sci-tech/20110527-35305.html

lawls to both

Lost Thoughts

"This age thinks better of a gilded fool than a threadbare saint in wisdom's school." - Thomas Dekker

* I'm sick with the cold or something.*

Loyalties and thought are lost causes. I reread Fahrenheit 451 today as inspiration for the story I'm still trying to complete, and for the first time I came to appreciate just what message Bradbury was trying to communicate. Like many others I initially finished F451 and concluded that the author was taking a well-placed stab at abuse of state power, but that's not even the half of it. The actions of the state were secondary to the thoughts of the people.

Bradbury was warning us that our desire for cheap thrills and no challenges will consume us. And it's happened. We're stuck to our televisions, our drugs, our pop novels. In an age where everyone can read and understand Milton, Thoreau, Lao Tse, and Plato, we refuse. We don't want to think. We don't want to commit ourselves to challenges. Montag, the main character, is left by his wife simply because he likes to discuss politics, philosophy, and other "crazy ideas" instead of ramble on about the latest television show or faun over how fast his car can drive. That is much like our society. We don't give a shit about science or philosophy. At best we just want someone else to do it for us. We don't give a shit about commitment. Oh yes we talk about it, but what we really mean is "someone committing to me."

Why take a hard major when alternatives exist that bestow A's more frequently and don't get you to apply yourself? Why stick it through a relationship when sex and companionship are just around the corner? Why attempt to read "hard literature" when others only know about Twilight, Harry Potter, the Giver, etc.? [I'm not knocking any of the books - although I hate Twilight personally - just they're really easy reads]

I feel like I'm surrounded in a decadent culture.

Jesus wept.

Started and finished the Hunger Games today. Decent teen fiction, but it's clearly a ripoff of Battle Royale.

Pounce

Bla bla bla. "Hello, my name is X, I wronged you in the worst imaginable way cause I'm a fucking lunatic religious fanatic who thinks sexism is just dandy when it hurts men, but don't made it public or I'll blackmail you. Kthanx."

Go to hell.

Electric Daisy Carnival in June; Muse in August; Kamelot & Deadmau5 in September? I'm going to be poor. Happily poor.

Progressive metal and progressive electronica... mm, delicious. Like cake and pie.

Heterosexual males tend to have very strong visual cues for archetypal female forms - not coincidentally the ones associated with fertility and child-rearing - wide birthing hips (which are accentuated by a small waist) and large breasts for nursing.

Meanwhile, heterosexual women tend to be attracted to men who exhibit power, which is associated with the ability to provide for her and her offspring. On a base level that means big muscles and aggressiveness. But women can be and are enculturated to associate that archetypal drive with signs of social power - money, possessions and political status, and to types of "looks" that signal a person likely to be widely accepted in social reality unrelated to his physical abilities. Giving birth is an enormous risky proposition for a human female - both in terms of risks to her own immediate well-being and the commitment of time and resources that will be required of her to sustain her children.

Perhaps a woman is offended when a man lacking the right masculine traits approaches her because it triggers her own insecurities and fears - hence, this response is a defense mechanism. If unattractive males are approaching her, isn't it likely that there will be a feeling that something about her is limiting her ability to attract the kind of mate she needs and a corresponding need to control this self-injurious feeling? While attention from a man that meets her mostly subconscious requirements for a mate reinforces her feelings that she is herself a suitable mate?

QED

Tinie Tempah - Wonderman ft. Ellie Goulding (Jacob Plant remix)

Will be spinning this when I get the chance.

Jaded

I once cared about politics and economics with an attention to detail that would surpass the scrutiny of the Matrix. Heck, I ran for mayor at 18.

Now I increasingly find myself listening to these debates with an apathetic attitude. I still identify as pro-choice, pro-marriage equality, pro-libertarian socialism, pro-abolition of the Drug War, but the systematic corruption and barriers enacted against meaningful discussions put forth by the people are just unbearable. I don't debate. Not because I put myself above others' conclusions, but because I don't really care either way, and it's kinda depressing. But not really. Especially when the media parrots names (Ron Paul! Obama! Nader!) instead of actual positions.

"My life is music, and music is life."

I find myself finding comfort in more individual pursuits like philosophy, dance, music, social gatherings, and literature.

Consider me jaded.

My exhausted face via Skype after five hours at Afterlife.

Lots of crazy events tonight

But Oscar, JoJo & I will be at Life. The best staff and friendliest crowd. Come out and see us.

Scratch this post, lawls.

Fun night dancing in the Hotel Capri, but ended on a depressing note.

I just want a woman to love, a woman I can read to, and shower gifts unto, and dance with, and kiss, and enjoy poetry alongside with, and tell jokes to, and spend intimate moments together with, and trust. I'm not a bad person. I've paid for friends who were one step away from homelessness. I've fucking bent my back in three directions to help friends and lovers who were depressed and they've accused me of the most vile, phony shit in the world. I've rescued people from overdose only to have them berate me. I put my life out for people, and then when they betray me they call me weak for crying, and caring, and wanting their company.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm innocent of all charges. I've acted selfishly, but if I'm ever called out on it or if I see that someone suffers from it I try my best to rescind. I love people. I love their little quirks, their loves, their fears. I'm not some messiah - the tides of fallibility rob me of any Christ status - but damn you if you think I don't care.

Dancing and music and teaching and books are all that matter... it seems. My friend (let's call him C to maintain anonymity) ran away from all his "friends" and "lovers" to just find a life in dance, in the clubs. I may do the same. It's not the fault of all my friends or even most of them, but yeah if you share these sentiments please be sure to let me know.

Goals for this summer:
- Electric Daisy Concert with JoJo, Chazz, Matty/Patricia, Holly, Oscar, Lauren, Alex, and/or Brandon. (tickets - check)
- Read at least a novel a week.
- Work at Morningside again with JoJo and Ryan (check)
- Improve my dancing skills. (Currently trying to learn the moonwalk and trying to time my shuffling better)
- Finish my last entry-level classes. FINALLY.
- Finish writing my book.
- Keep in shape. Maybe gain a little more muscle.
- Tan? Lawls.
- Ears pierced? Mebe.

Esmée Denters - Outta Here (Eliminate Remix)

Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek (Ozo Remix)

Mm, tribal house remix.

Head suffering = partied "too" hard. Ow ow ow.

EDC Dallas ticket :]

Inception Soundtrack HD - #12 Time (Hans Zimmer)

When I listen to this piece I am transferred to a reality not much different than our own, but here the dimensions of space and time are not so compact and complicated that every minute line of connection - causality - raises curiosity. I am all at once there for the death of my Nannie and yet a witness to my first kiss; how I lied that day in the theater and said she was my third. In the depth of a second I see all the painful and joyous memories I created in my teenage years. And I see others.

I refuse to drive an automobile until they invent one fueled by righteous indignation and unwarranted certitude.

Mexican food with Asian lady friend... mmm multi-culturism.

Benny Benassi Feat. Kelis - Spaceship (Fedde Le Grand Remix) ||HQ||

So of the 100 books the BBC listed as "essential reads" I've finished 53, which puts me in first amongst my friends. Time well spent.

Late Night Alumni. LISTEN TO THEM. Beautiful.

Here's the DJ Tiesto Remix:

Some random, scattered thoughts that can only be drawn together based on a common source and boredom...

- Half of the population is prescribed some legal psychotropic medication to alter brain chemistry (to cure depression, ADHD/ADD, lethargy, etc.) but we create panic about cannabis and other recreational stimulants and depressants. Schools are aghast when one of their star pupils is found using speed but meanwhile the school counselor has ten recommendations written up for Addarall. Drugs are only good if they procure a profit for Shire Pharmaceuticals and her competitors, it seems.

- Politics encompasses everything, but I'm at a point in my life where I can only casually discuss my hopes, ideas, and expectations on a good day and in trusted company. I don't engage in debates; I don't really care, as a matter of fact. For someone who campaigned at the age of 18 for mayor it's really disheartening to see myself become jaded with the process. I don't vote. I don't watch the news. I don't talk to people about their personal beliefs. I'm too tired of it all. I can only write out my thoughts and just shrug my shoulders.

- I often fear that one day in the future I'm going to be fired from my teaching position because of my unorthodox approach to education...

- I'm an atheist. You're probably not. That's cool. I don't care. My life's purpose is not to get others to think like me but to instead inspire others to think for themselves. Refer back to my previous statement about unorthodox teaching styles. We're taught at a young age that there's a "right" answer and all that matters is knowing "what's right" - not how to get there, or the significance of this answer, or even if you should still question yourself.

- I love music. I also love books. Does that make me cool or a geek? A cool geek?

- I'm a hedonist. I love simple pleasures like food, romance, socialization, reading, alcohol, sex, and leisure but I realize that a solid career, strong ethical commitment to others, and careful foresight are necessary for the preservation of these pleasures. I don't steal; I've never cheated on a partner; I've never left someone suffering from alcohol poisoning in the bathroom to suffer through it alone.

- At the same time I'm not perfect and I often get upset with myself when my personal concerns are raised above the needs of others. I drive past most broken-down cars and hate myself for it.

- Ambivert: the middle-position between extrovert and introvert. I am comfortable wearing this new vocabulary word, even if it sounds a little strange.

- I want to be a teacher. I want to be a musician. I want to be an author. I want to be a cosmonaut. I want to build my own house. I want to design a beautiful monument. In other words, I want to experience all outlets of life, damn it.

- I like people who dive right into situations in pursuit of fun. I also like people who are more contemplative about their actions. I can't stand, however, when people are critical of different personality types.

- The science behind romance - how our bodies' chemistry actually adjusts to be "in tune" with another person (similar to how women in close proximity share a menstrual cycle, but much more daring) - I think is more romantic than any spiritual or cartoon-inspired romance.

- Biggest fear: Losing the people I love to time, illness, and tragedies.

- Ideal last minutes of life: afloat in space above the Earth's atmosphere.