seduced by the heart {Despair}

"I never wanted to know, never wanted to see. I wasted my time till time wasted me" - Savatage, the predecessor to Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

We arrive at despair when we're stolen of our familiar comforts. A wealthy man who finds that he has gambled himself into a cardboard cutout is much more prone to commit suicide than someone who was raised on the streets. One friend of mine experienced the Bosnian War as a little girl; traumatic as it was to be home for all of December while enemy combatants payed men to rape Muslim women, now that she is in a safe environment she has a fresh and pleasant demeanor that few of us will ever know. A stable home may allow for an easier life, but living is an independent characteristic. That is why we see depression as a common trauma in the United States. The modern man is surrounded by a fast-paced, uncertain world that raises him on a pedestal while damning him to more greed and lust than ever before.

We build a stone fortress around us with all the pleasantries one can, and when but a single wall falls we feel so very weak. The lesson is to actually appreciate what you have (as much as one can) and to own up to your behavior. No one else, ultimately, is responsible for how you act, whether we see humans as agents of free will or determined machines. I can blame quite a few idiots in my past for shaping me to become a pessimist when it comes to issues like trust (as discussed below), but that would be wrong. Their irresponsible actions do not correlate with my reactions. I am the sole proprietor of my mind. In essence, learn that it's your 'fault'; if you're not proud of that statement, then you need to correct much about your life else you will bout with despair forever.

Listening to haunting trance like this.